Each day feels like we play tug of war. We love each other so much but feel torn about this fidelity issue. HE wants to fuck other people, without me, and wants me not to worry about it. I want him to stop fucking other people without me, and work with me to fuck people together.
It's back and forth and I feel scared. I just don't know what it's going to be like if it continues the way it's been going. I feel like I deserve better even though HE's done an incredible job of making sure his lifestyle hasn't bled into our world.
Are we individuals living in a relationship or a relationship trying to be individuals? It's a tough question. For me, I am in a relationship and want to do individual stuff. HE, though, is an individual trying to be in a relationship. HE tells me different but his actions give me all the evidence to feel confident about this assessment.
It feels like I'm trudging through thick sand. My muscles are achy and my feet are tired but if I keep going, I will make it through and I will have lost a few pounds and increased my strength.
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