Rollercoaster...of Love

Ugh, one day I'm ecstatic that we've finally gotten through some bullshit then the next, I am one angry bitch! I really don't think I've ever been in love before because as pissed and hurt and betrayed as I feel, I want nothing more than to see that happy ending work out for us.

HE writes, "Do you think you want to sleep with other people?" "Does that hold any allure to you?" I don't know if it angers me more that HE obviously doesn't see how callused and insensitive his timing is or the fact that I have pretty much avoided beautiful men that I'd like to throw down for a "few hours" because we had an agreement.

It's so not about the other people. I couldn't give a shit about other people. HE says HE doesn't like spending more than a few hours with anyone else and that HE only likes spending all that time with me. HE makes it sound like HE's doing his great Boy Scout deed for the month or something.

I really believe at this point that I am more antisocial than HE is. Maybe that was in his master plan....

HIM: "I will brain wash her to think I'm antisocial so she'll follow suit then BAM! I will have her! I will have trapped her in my web of lies...surrounded her with my silky love and affection to the point that she can't break free. Then, I will have my cake and will eat it tooo..Mwwwaaaaaahaa ha ha ha ha"

Last week I was gushing because I thought that him seeing someone one time every few months would be no big deal...but now he lays on that he also wants "friends". Ummmm, WTF? HE was never disallowed to have friends...what am I his mother?

Today, I don't understand many things about him. I feel like HE is a stranger to me. I don't feel safe. But then again, maybe I should let go and see how my stomach feels after the ride.