Feeling Loved

Does a person feel loved because their partner shows them love or do they feel loved because their frame of mind is such that they allow it in? 

Fetching a glass of water because HE knows I need it for a headache, stroking my hair and kissing my head for no apparent reason, telling me how sexy HE thinks I am, smiling at me with warmth and desire, holding my hand and stroking my fingers with his...these gestures make me feel loved. 

We do argue over this issue.  HE says HE loves me everyday, no matter what.  I wait to see if I believe him.  I use his indiscretions as proof that maybe HE doesn't really love me.  But my thinking could be flawed.  I could be seeing things all wrong because I think the whole World and all its activities are because of me.  It doesn't really compute that maybe when HE is terse, or angry, or stressed, that it has nothing to do with me.  That maybe HE doesn't think of me 24/7.  (That makes me feel unloved.) 

It's an attitude adjustment I need, according to all my recent reading.  Insecurity can make a healthy relationship get stale real fast....so I'd better remember that I'm the shit and even if HE's having a bad day, or wants to spend a little bit of time with someone else once in a while, or just doesn't want to be with me for a little bit, that it's all ok.  His love isn't dependent on anyone else, or any thing. 

If my attitude is that of confidence and security, then I will feel loved even if HE is far away.