Making it Easy

"God doesn't give you more than you can handle," is what I've always heard.  For me, I change it into "The Universe" or "The Forces" because I'm not a religious person.  I do believe this to be true.  Contemplating this saying yesterday made me realize that I have been given exactly what it is I need.  I have not been given more than I can handle and maybe my focus has been on the wrong things!

My Love is the man of my dreams.  Deep down I know this.  Deep down I think HE feels the same way.  But...trying to figure him out or figure out our situation has proven to be fruitless.  There is no figuring out a person who doesn't want to be figured out.  Just when I think I know what his intentions are or what HE feels, HE'll do something to throw me off kilter.  HE has his own issues to deal with.  HE doesn't want me to be deeply involved in them.  HE would like it if I trusted him more, even on the issues that drive us both crazy. 
I didn't think I could do this for fear......yep, that's the whole thought...for fear. 

So yesterday, pondering away, I realized that I am making things difficult for myself.  HE is trying to make it easy for me.  The Universe has been trying to tell me something but I've been ignoring it.  Ok, here is my big revelation:

I am not supposed to spend so much time on him, love, other boys, figuring out if I should have affairs with others, etc.....

Opportunities have presented themselves to me.  There are so many things I've been called to do yet I still contemplate sex, love and pairing up all the time!  It is exhausting. 

I have total control of myself, my actions, my life.  Take it as it comes.  Enjoy.  Live.  Laugh.  Love.  (ok, cheesy yes, but so true).  Today is yet another new day and another chance to love who I am, who I'm with and what I do.  So, I'm off... to do those things.