To gain perspective I asked him, "What percentage, would you say, your canoodling represents if you entire life equals 100%?" "Ummm, I don't know, 1% I guess," HE responded. So I started breaking that down. Out of 24 hours each day, that would mean HE spent 14.4 minutes a day, just over 7 hours a month, thinking about, scheduling, talking, fucking....others. That seemed high to me if everything HE told me was true and since we've reached a new understanding, I believe him.
I began breaking down my own life and, right off the bat, most of my time is spent working and sleeping! After those two chunks are subtracted from my "bank", I only have three full days left. OMG...three days to do everything I want to do in life, each week...that is not a lot.
This made me think of all the things I have on my "to do" list and how it's no wonder I feel overwhelmed and dissatisfied sometimes. 72 hours to solve the world's problems and become a self-realized person...oh, and contribute to a positive, healthy and happy love affair. Whew, I'm tired just thinking of all that. But there's no more time for sleeping, in fact, I think I might try to shave off an hour or two of my sleeping each night so that I have more time to frolic and play!
After the reality of what little time I actually have left, I began thinking of all the time I spend worrying, fretting, and complaining (which I do more than is necessary, just ask him!). Since nothing terrible has ever happened to me (yes I am thankful for this but I am also complacent with life as a result) I take for granted this time. I lounge, relax, and sit around way too much.
The thing about all of this is this: I must stop worrying about what HE does, who HE chooses to do it with, and start living and breathing the small amount of time I have to work with. Well, I'm off to make my life list. Maybe I will share it in a future post.
No comments:
Post a Comment