My grandma is not responding. Her body functions are shutting down. It's as if her mind has moved on but her body is holding on. I wonder if she hears, feels anything at this point.
I broke down this morning. I wanted to see him. So, I asked if I could. HE said yes. When HE opened his door to me, my heart skipped a beat and the butterflies swirled around my stomach. HE was so guarded but HE hugged me, like HE used to hug me, long and tight and with both arms fully encompassing me. I was home.
We are going away this weekend. Memorial Day weekend has traditionally been a terrible weekend for us. Last year we got into a motorcycle accident. The year before, his dog died. Several years before that, I spent the night with another boy. HE holds onto all this negativity during this weekend as if HE expects the worst. I'm hoping this one will be different.
Of course it won't be different because this year, my grandma is expected to die. But maybe, we can find a way to rebuild our relationship and remember why we fell in love.
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