Light Blue

She came to me in my dream.  Never before have I dreamed of her.  No matter how worried, concerned, scared I was, I had never dreamed of her...before this night.

She walked around the white painted door frame and into the room I was in.  Light blue surrounded her.  I couldn't tell if she was wearing it but it encompassed her whole being except for her head and legs.  Her face was smiling and her skin pale.  Her legs had brought her to where she stood.  Her hair had returned to the bright red orange I remember her wearing when I was a child. 

"Oma, you are walking," I said.   "You were just doing so poorly and here you are, walking," I noticed.

"I'm fine" she said as she wore that familiar, mischievous smile.

Then as quickly as she appeared, she disappeared. 

I woke up with that dream in my mind.  I wondered if it meant anything.

The phone rang.  Mom said she had died at 3am her time.  The dream had meant something.  "I dreamed of her last night," I shared.

Oma had died in her sleep, "peacefully" which translates, in America, as drugged out of her mind so she didn't feel anything! 

Mom droned on about pointless details, which is always her way of "dealing with it".   I told her I had to go, get ready for work.   She was overly worried about me but that's how she is, has always been, and always will be.  I don't get angry about it anymore.  I just accept that she's overprotective even though I'm an adult now. 

I broke down at work.  I will never speak to her again.  Hardly any work happened on Thursday, May 26, 2011, the day his dog, Seau, and my grandma died, but two years apart.  Yup, nothing good ever happens on Memorial Day weekend.

Light blue....I kept thinking what that meant.  Her favorite color was pink.  They dressed her in pink, at my mom's request, so she could die looking pretty.  I recounted the dream with my mom and she assured me that light blue was not what she died in. 

Driving to lunch, with the sunroof open, I noticed how amazingly beautiful the day was.  Hardly a cloud in the sky and the sky was.....so.....light blue!  Light blue was all around me.  Everywhere I looked, there it was.  All day I saw the color and every time I saw it, I thought of her.  That's what it meant!  She is now, everywhere! 

HE and I left for Palm Springs later that afternoon.  I drove out of town with a serenity in my heart and mind.  Light blue...how obvious....she is still with me.