So, we finally met PB&J for dinner! Remember, from Stay Tuned, Continued... this is the couple that we had been talking with about swapping. Before, when we spoke about going to dinner, she said, "I'll sit by him and you'll sit by my husband." Well, releasing all anxiety to the cosmos, I sat down and let the chips fall where they may. HE sat across from me and her man sat next to me. The conversation was easy. HE was full of questions and they were very open.
She kept saying how new they were to the lifestyle but their adventures, so far, are much more than a woman of my experience could imagine. She had five men, seven times, in one night! Holy shit. Really? As much as I like sex and men, I am not sure I'm capable of such feats! And she reported that they've hosted parties at their house and that he's had his first threesome without her. They seem happy with their choices and it's amazing hearing all of the situations they get into.
His hand disappeared under the table and he placed his hand lightly on my knee. He caressed it and moved up my thigh ever so slightly until by the time dinner came, he was half way up there. I had worn a short dress and my legs were exposed. I tried making eye contact with my man so that I could somehow, telepathically, send him a message to let him know what was going on. It felt good. It reminded me of when HE strokes my arm, or my hair, or my hand.....dammit; everything reminds me of him!
After dinner, I saw his hand disappear under the table. A twinge of jealously ran through me. I wondered if HE felt the same way. Since my moon phase was in full force, the four of us knew this would be a super soft encounter. She admitted that her moon phase had started as well.
Afterwards, he kissed me on the lips and caressed my back until we parted. I don't know if HE kissed her or she kissed him. We talked about meeting this Saturday night for more action.
I could see how sexy it would be to be with two men at the same time!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
The Beach
I took the day off from work today. It felt extra good to think only of my daughter, and my life outside of the "9 to 5". I ran errands and thought about him and how wonderful my life really is. And then, I took the dog to the beach.
We walked for over an hour. I stared at the Pacific while Cee Lo Green and The Black Eyed Peas pumped me up. I sweat out not only the toxins that get stored in my body but the emotional ones too. Nature always brings me back to what's important. I am reminded what is important in my life and how, in the midst of every world crisis, my life doesn't have one....that's right.....there is no crisis in my life.
I think I'll take tomorrow off too.
We walked for over an hour. I stared at the Pacific while Cee Lo Green and The Black Eyed Peas pumped me up. I sweat out not only the toxins that get stored in my body but the emotional ones too. Nature always brings me back to what's important. I am reminded what is important in my life and how, in the midst of every world crisis, my life doesn't have one....that's right.....there is no crisis in my life.
I think I'll take tomorrow off too.
Maybe It's The Distance
Maybe the distance is what keeps everything fresh and exciting. Maybe once it seems like a 24/7 relationship, it becomes monotonous and boring and too familiar. Maybe I need the distance as much as HE does but I don't yet really understand that part of me. And when there is distance I make it about him creating it. And maybe HE does but maybe it's because HE knows that a little distance between us will make things more enjoyable when we do see each other.
Sometimes I just want to know that at the end of a long, stressful day, I can curl up next to him, feel his warmth, not say a word and be held until I fall fast asleep. But for now, my pillow will have to play that role until the next time I see him. And not say a word.
Sometimes I just want to know that at the end of a long, stressful day, I can curl up next to him, feel his warmth, not say a word and be held until I fall fast asleep. But for now, my pillow will have to play that role until the next time I see him. And not say a word.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
It's All Good
The thing I am learning is that it truly is just a mind set. I tend towards creating stories instead of enjoying what comes to me. We had an amazing weekend. I felt close to him. We laughed and joked with each other and things felt very safe and secure. I think I am creating what will happen throughout the week. HE has already said HE is going to be busy. I translate that into him forgetting about me. I wonder if HE will be spending time with some woman that HE has yet, again, failed to tell me about because HE doesn't want to be honest and open. But, then, like a blanket tossed off in the middle of a hot night, the bad feelings lifted.
It's all in the mind. I have what I need. I have what I want. There is nothing more to think about. Today was a good, lazy day. I got to relax and take care of my own stuff. HE loves me. Now is the beginning of my week, to take care of myself; to focus on me. ;)
Back to the routine.
It's all in the mind. I have what I need. I have what I want. There is nothing more to think about. Today was a good, lazy day. I got to relax and take care of my own stuff. HE loves me. Now is the beginning of my week, to take care of myself; to focus on me. ;)
Back to the routine.
I Don't Know...
...what happened. For the past two weeks my mental and emotional states were perfect. I loved the world and wasn't too bothered by the past or the future. Actually not too bothered about today either.
Today I am just feeling lousy again. Fuck! I am so frustrated.
Today I am just feeling lousy again. Fuck! I am so frustrated.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Skinny Bitch 3
Day 8 started off well. I measured all the body parts. I was surprised that I lost 1 inch in my neck! :) WTF? Overall I lost 14 inches! The only part of my body that didn't see a significant loss was in my "upper knees". I'll take that as a great sign.
I seriously feel good. I feel like my blood sugar is constant and my energy is coming back strong. Someone asked me what I am doing. It's the Isagenics program. I don't know if I really believe in these kinds of programs but I tell ya, it's been easy and well, yea, I am seeing results.
I am a skinny bitch! Can't wait to pull those "skinny clothes" back out of storage. :)
I seriously feel good. I feel like my blood sugar is constant and my energy is coming back strong. Someone asked me what I am doing. It's the Isagenics program. I don't know if I really believe in these kinds of programs but I tell ya, it's been easy and well, yea, I am seeing results.
I am a skinny bitch! Can't wait to pull those "skinny clothes" back out of storage. :)
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Random Thoughts
Not in order of importance or priority:
1. My friend's wedding is seriously turning into a circus. It is hard for me to keep my judgment to myself but so far I have done just that. I think she should apply for My Fair Wedding with David Tutera. It's the only way it will not look like the Dollar Store planned it in conjunction with Good Will.
2. Sometimes I feel sad that I will probably never get married or live with anyone again.
3. I loaned an old elementary school friend almost $200 last summer. He said he would pay me back in the fall. It's now almost a year later and I have not heard from him. I could email him to ask for the money but I just think Karma might take care of it for me. (He's all into that you know.)
3. There is not enough time in the day and I'm starting to feel the consequences of this.
4. For at least two days in the past few weeks, I have felt excited about simple things like donning my robe and curling up in bed to watch a show or having dinner and frozen yogurt while I spend the evening alone.
5. My grandmother will be 87 on Saturday. I can't be with her.
1. My friend's wedding is seriously turning into a circus. It is hard for me to keep my judgment to myself but so far I have done just that. I think she should apply for My Fair Wedding with David Tutera. It's the only way it will not look like the Dollar Store planned it in conjunction with Good Will.
2. Sometimes I feel sad that I will probably never get married or live with anyone again.
3. I loaned an old elementary school friend almost $200 last summer. He said he would pay me back in the fall. It's now almost a year later and I have not heard from him. I could email him to ask for the money but I just think Karma might take care of it for me. (He's all into that you know.)
3. There is not enough time in the day and I'm starting to feel the consequences of this.
4. For at least two days in the past few weeks, I have felt excited about simple things like donning my robe and curling up in bed to watch a show or having dinner and frozen yogurt while I spend the evening alone.
5. My grandmother will be 87 on Saturday. I can't be with her.
Skinny Bitch 2
Holy mother of god.....today is torture. Ok, not really. It could be worse. I guess I could have my jaw wired shut and be alone in a barren field with nothing to eat but my shoestrings! I am fine but I have been nauseated and have gagged at least twice today due to the "cleanse". Today is cleanse day. They really should just call it the "hey fat ass you need to learn how not to eat because you really don't need it, at least not as often as it appears you've been gorging" day. I'm a little cranky, or "hangry" as Hillary Duff calls it. (It's a combo of hungry and angry.) And those shakes now seem like a gourmet dinner compared to the cleansing drink.
On the positive front, though, as of last night at about 10:30pm, I lost 3 lbs! Only 25 to go. Remind me not to get this way in the future. It's much harder to take it off and a lot less fun than putting it on. ;)
But tomorrow is day 8 and I get to measure my body and see how much weight I've lost to date.
Things have been going well. Today was the hardest day by far but I have not been tempted to cheat and have not really craved any food. I like this program....so far.
On the positive front, though, as of last night at about 10:30pm, I lost 3 lbs! Only 25 to go. Remind me not to get this way in the future. It's much harder to take it off and a lot less fun than putting it on. ;)
But tomorrow is day 8 and I get to measure my body and see how much weight I've lost to date.
Things have been going well. Today was the hardest day by far but I have not been tempted to cheat and have not really craved any food. I like this program....so far.
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