Protection

I spoke to my dad today after a few weeks of leaving messages.  It's not like him to ignore my phone calls but, I figured, he was busy.  He called me today and after expressing his affection I asked him how he was doing.  He laughed then said, "I'm fine now," which alerted me that something was wrong.

He had just spent a week in the hospital after being hit from behind by a semi-truck.  His truck was totaled; his head was split open, and he sustained a few more bumps and bruises as well.  "Oh my god, why didn't you tell me?" I asked.  "I didn't want to worry you.  Everyone asked if they could call you and I told them no," he said.  I cried.

I don't understand protecting someone like he did.  Maybe I am too selfish to understand not wanting to worry someone so much that I'd rather suffer in the hospital and not speak to them until I know I'm ok.  HE  claims that that's why HE didn't tell me about the other women.  HE says that HE knew it would hurt my feelings and HE would rather keep it all to himself than to tell me and risk hurting me. 

Should I thank my lucky stars that I have people in my life who protect me so?  Or should I look inside myself to see why I'm so fragile that people don't think I'm strong enough to handle outside relationships or car accidents?

HE once told me that if HE ever contracted a fatal disease, HE wouldn't tell me.  HE wouldn't want me to worry, or treat him differently, or hurt me.  I won't claim to understand this selflessness....but maybe I can learn from the efforts made to protect me so that maybe I, too, can give protection to those I love.